Choc-Chip Mint!
by iridescent-ren
Summary: Natsu and happy were out for ice-cream, after Natsu drops his he decides that from that day on he would insult people using ice-cream flavors, needless to say the guild were a bit confused…. Funny random one-shot.
Natsu walked giddily around the town with his best friend happy, they duo had just gotten ice-cream and they were a little too excited about it. Like children. Natsu had gotten choc-chip mint and happy had a strawberry, they were enjoying their ice-creams a lot. "mmm Hey buddy" Natsu said through mouthfuls "You enjoying the ice-cream?" He asked. "Aye!" He responded from the side. Suddenly Natsu was jerked to the side by someone bumping into him "Oh sorry!" They apologised and went on their way, Natsu looked down in horror to see the ice-cream splatted on the floor.

"CHOC CHIP MINT!" Natsu half shouted half cried. Him and happy took a moment to mourn the ice-cream before moving back on their way to the guild with Natsu sulking the whole way. "Hey Natsu, what's up?" A voice called from behind that they recognized to be Loke. "hey…." Natsu greeted gloomily. Loke tried to see what was wrong and Natsu cut him off "Just Choc chip mint off" And walked off leaving a very confused Loke still trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about behind.

"What was that Natsu?" Happy asked questioning what he said to Loke, "I'm not really sure" Natsu laughed "That should be a new thing! I can insult people in ice-cream flavours!" Natsu raised his fist in the air suddenly full of energy again "Aye!" Happy agreed.

They began walking back to the guild when Natsu got an evil grin on his face, "Natsu….. What are you planning?" Happy asked, he was curious but also worried. Natsu's evil grin remained "I wonder if I can get away with insulting Erza….." Happy gasped "Natsu! That's so dangerous! You could die!" Happy was genuinely concerned for him if it turned out anywhere similar to last time….. But that's a story for another time.

"Natsu I have been looking for you, we have a job to do" Erza greeted him at the door, 'Speak of the devil' Natsu muttered not loud enough for Erza to hear although a few dragon slayers picked it up. "Maybe another time, Vanilla" Then he smirked as if he had just said something smart.

You could practically see the confused question marks popping out of her head "Uh… okay then, why did you call me vanilla?" "N-NO REASON" Natsu quickly defended himself and ran into the guild. "Vanilla…..?" Erza repeated trying to make sense of it.

"Yo what's up flame brain" Gray greeted trying to start a fight, "Oi…. Why do you look so happy?" It was true, Natsu was super excited, he had just gotten away with insulting Erza. Not just any Erza, THE Erza.

"No reason, Blueberry" Natsu responded "the fuck…? Normally you would say an insult but isn't blueberry an ice-cream flavour…? Why would you- "A simple minded chocolate like you wouldn't understand" Natsu stated proudly making everyone tilt their heads wondering what on earth is going on in his brain. "… Chocolate?"

Natsu smirked and walked off again with Happy once again thinking they were being smart. "Natsu! What is going on?" Lucy confronted him, she, like the others, had no idea what Natsu was on about. "Nothing Luce!" Natsu liked Lucy, she fed him her food and let him sleep in her bed, he wouldn't insult her.

She just looked at him strangely until Gajeel interrupted carrying a squirming and bright red Levy with him "I heard the salamander was up to something, what's going on?" He said in his usual grumpy voice "Gajeel! I'm not that short! Put me down!" Levy struggled "Gihi, maybe sometime shrimp" only causing her to whine more.

"Sorry I can't understand Banana Splitz" Natsu said at Gajeel "…. Um what?" He wasn't angry just really really confused, "Isn't that an ice-cream flavour… The fuck is wrong with you salamander…?" Gajeel questioned actually Levy down for once.

Natsu smirked and flipped his hair to the side like a prom queen, "I'm too Sherbet for you" Natsu said followed by Happy agreeing with everything he was saying as if he was a genius. Gajeel, Levy and Lucy followed Natsu to see what he was doing to see he was fighting with Laxus.

"What the strawberry bliss did you say?! Say that again and I will rocky road you up" Natsu shouted as if he was saying something powerful. Laxus stopped attacking to question if he was mentally stable, "Aren't those ice-creams? Why would you u-"Dreamy creamy" Natsu cut him off throwing another 'Insult' at Laxus.

"What on earth is this ruckus?" A loud booming voice spoke over everyone "Master!" Erza called. "Natsu, whenever something annoying, loud and stupid happens it always involves you so tell me what's going on?" He went back to normal small size and stood on the bar near Natsu.

"Hokey Pokey Ice Cream Parlour off gramps" Natsu said in a bored tone "Ok just what in the hell is going on here" Makarov asked everybody who looked just as dumbfounded and confused as he was. "What? I ran out of ice cream flavours" he answered to the questioning looks only making It worse and earning a few face palms throughout the room.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, Erza went to answer it only to find a man wearing a cloak and black hair. Makarov looked like he was about to die, "What's wrong Master?!" Erza quickly said "T-T-That's ZEREF THE BLACK WIZARD… what… what could you possibly want from us?" Makarov says.

"Well I heard the mention of ice-cream so" He shrugged as if the dark wizard planning on killing them all later popping by for a visit was normal. "Cookies and cream?" Natsu said as if that was an actual question, but apparently Zeref understood it and nodded then they high fived.

Because apparently a black mage trying to kill them all later high fiving the one he was trying to kill is also normal. Then they suddenly started fighting…. In ice-cream flavours.

"Caramel!"

"Chocolate crunch"

"Coconut!"

"Cotton candy!"

At that point Lucy couldn't contain her laughter, although it was strange, hearing the most powerful and wanted black wizard shout 'Cotton candy' was the weirdest and best thing ever. Many others were laughing at the interaction, some still terrified of Zeref and others simply weirded out.

"Natsu-nii! I will help you!" Romeo jumped out with Natsu despite his father's warnings of getting 'infected' by their strange habits. "Strawberry cheesecake!" He shouted at Zeref. Natsu laughed and started mumbling things about building and ice-cream army.

The peace didn't last long when Erza with her flame empress armour on came running in heading straight for them looking pissed "HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE" At this point the entire guild was running away from her wrath "Erza! It's a mistake! We weren't insulting it! It was the insult!"

This only made it worse. Lucy, who was hiding behind the bar with Mira felt bad for Jellal, he was only visiting when all this started happening, he was clinging to a pole trying to avoid Erza and her torture. Everybody who wasn't running or out of breath was telling him to hug Erza instead of a pole.

Erza made sure they were running very soon after that. "CHOC" Oh no, everybody knew where he was going with this "CHIP" getting closer somebody save them "MINT!" Romeo, Natsu, happy, Zeref and a few others he had recruited to his 'Ice-cream army' All stood proudly on the tables.

And it was still morning, this would be a long day.

 **~Astra~**


End file.
